Because I cannot focus on a night like this, after a particularly demanding week, I've taken out a stack of old note cards and have been shifting through for the past...who knows how many minutes.
Not wanting to shake up Something to hide?
this particular board
Always like this, but why?
You there. Me there. Different theres.
Spare me.
The were on the same page,
just in different books.
My feet have never been colder. Legs never more like jello.
When you're alone, there's no pretending.
Only being. And that in itself is beautiful.
So disillusioned to think that beauty like that could survive.
Elliptical motion.
Looking out on the gym from across the street.
Cat Stevens.
Got off that damned machine
and started to breathe again.
BUT
all these things
these pieces
they don't define her.
she doesn't let them.
Even if
they are truly
parts of who
she is.
She's in control
she writes the
book.
She defines the words,
the elements,
they don't define her.
Retreating to some more writing now. Something longer. Something more sustainable than tidbits of thoughts. Power bar like thoughts get me through the afternoon, but it's about time for a dinner-sized piece, don't you think?
It's easier that way. There's less muddle. Less complications.
She may be in the business for a lot of things,
but wasting her time,
wasting her precious energy,
she's not in the business for that.
Growing smarter every day
as they slowly decide what things to keep
and what things aren't worth the dust they gather
sitting on the back burner. Or the top shelf.
We learn at an early age that we each have 5 senses. Sight, sound, taste, touch and smell. We use these to sense danger, if we smell smoke or hear a siren. Our sense heighten pleasure, so much so that the smell of warm baked cookies can link you to your mom's kitchen, or the taste of cotton candy can bring images to mind of your first carnival. What would a hug mean if you couldn't feel the person's arms wrapped around yours? What importance would music have in religion, culture and history, if not for our ability to sense sound with our ears?
In addition to those, we often discuss a sixth sense. (And no, I'm not thinking about the Bruce Willis movie.) That feeling of deja vu, or the crawling feeling you get when you know someone's watching you, those are senses too. These internal senses help evoke emotion, stir longings, grapple with memory. They can't be tested as easily as sight or hearing, but for most people, this sixth sense can be, well, sensed. With out, we'd all be grossly out of tune with one another. This humanistic sense connects us, makes us wired in a strange, intangible way.
But the list of definitions for sense continue. The dictionary includes entries such as: sound, practical intelligence--the value, merit, or significance of something--a DNA sequence capable of coding for an amino acid--an opinion formed by a group consensus. In a properly functioning society, leaders have a good sense of what's going on. They also are able to sense change arriving; they provide a sense of security for their followers. Followers too utilize their own senses when listening to broadcasts and empathizing with situations. In order to seek progress, individuals must provide a moral sense in their lives. To keep things light, we must develop a sense of humor. We must realize that there's little sense in holding on to the past, when the future lies so close to our eyes.
Sometimes, we lose our senses. Flustering situations, panic, laughter, change, can all alter our perception of the life we have built for ourselves. That's perfectly OK. Some moments in our lives, sense shouldn't take the reigns. Death, for instance, make perfect sense. Life happens, and it ends. Biological, right? So why do we cry and mourn for our loved ones when they pass? It's illogical if you think it through, and yet our emotions take over, and sense gets put in the back seat. A lot of decisions made in Washington make sense for the greater good, and yet they result in arguments and anger among different political parties. In forming our own opinions, we essentially give up any hope of finding common ground, a set of simple, sensible rules to live by. When we follow our own desires, we forfeit the right to say 'this makes sense.' Sense, in this sense, refers to personal perception, not straight knowledge. That's perfectly OK too.
A man who hopes to get close to others, to make connections stronger than political, social, or business allies, must overstep the boundaries of what makes sense to himself, and accept that things can be right without being logical. Life isn't a puzzle. It's not a race to see who can build the most impressive picture. It's about indulging in delicacies on occasion, living out our dreams, and speaking up, even if our sentences make no sense. In the long run, comprehension can't compare with our internally developed six senses. Those primitive aspects did, after all, came first.
And now that you've read all that,
listen to this completely nonsensical song by the Barenaked Ladies (a nonsense name if I ever saw one.) I may or may not (I do) know all the words to this song.
